Mother of the Year and Other Lies About My Life

Project 365 - Day 11 "The Greeter"

2011-01-11T20:36:00.000-06:00

Why am I finding it so hard to take pictures? Seriously. I took almost 500 pics between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and now I can't find one to take! I finally settled on Shamrock because she will actually sit for a picture. Godiva gets too excited that you are looking at her and thinks a treat is forthcoming! I got home from picking Meghan up at dance and Shamrock came to greet me with a shoe in the mouth, as usual. At least she doesn't destroy...

(As usual, please ignore the ever present laundry basket.)

I went to work for the first time today since pulling my back on Thursday. Unfortunately because I am so short, I only own shoes with heels besides my gym shoes which are a little frowned upon at school. By the time I got home, I had pain shooting up my right "cheek" and into my lower back pretty badly. I'm finishing this post and then taking my fabulous muscle relaxers and sliding off into dream land! I love muscle relaxers. Back to work tomorrow but I'm going to try and work my solid black gym shoes into the outfit. Wish me luck.

365 Days - Day 10

2011-01-10T21:38:00.000-06:00

Today was just a normal day of running around (slowly since the back is still on the mend) getting groceries, looking for post Christmas deals etc. Once the kids get home from school, it is go go go, especially on Mondays since that is Meghan's long day at dance. She has hip hop at 5 and then irish until 7:30. Since I hadn't gotten a picture all day I brought the camera to dance hoping to get something. I tried. I really did but this is the best I could do...

Meghan is all the way up front in the baby blue shirt. I liked that I had a pretty straight on shot of her from the doorway. They are rehearsing their dance for the recital in June. The dances are so intricate and with so many moving parts, it takes months of practice to perfect them. I'm always awed by the choreography of Meg's dance teacher.

365 Days - Day 9

2011-01-10T21:30:00.000-06:00

So this project is proving to be harder than I thought it would be just because my life isn't all that interesting. I'm busy for sure but cool stuff to photograph everyday, not so much. But I'm committed to doing this so I will continue to bug people by bringing my camera everywhere! Haha.

For Christmas, our budding "Cake Boss" asked for a mini-donut maker and my in-laws kindly obliged. We busted this out Sunday morning to test it out. In my infinite wisdom, I made a double batch. The donuts are so tiny and I just figured only one batch wouldn't be enough, there would be fights and chaos, blah blah blah. So double batch it was. Here was our results:

I ended up just dipping most of them in powdered sugar or cinnamon sugar just for ease. There were "recipes" for glazes but I'm not a huge baker and flat out didn't understand what the heck I was supposed to do!

They were pretty good, however I'm not sure if there is any such thing as a bad donut??

365 Days - Day 8

2011-01-09T11:33:00.000-06:00

Once again since I still felt like crap, not a lot of picture taking happening. The one shot I did get is a view of our life this past week. Since the Superbowl is coming up, both Caden's baseball team and Meghan's dance group were selling superbowl squares and Bryan was in charge of both. Needless to say, when you are selling 200 superbowl squares, you get a lot of email. He spent so much time putting in names and keeping track. Thank goodness they both sold out in 4 days!

Nice laundry basket in the background, huh? The point is to chronicle real life and goodness knows that laundry is a big stinkin' part of mine!

365 Pictures Day 5, 6 and 7

2011-01-08T12:40:00.002-06:00

Day Four was Wednesday. I spent most of my day on a wild goose chase for a cute knit hat to use for pics with my nephew. I finally ended up coming home at the same time as the kids. That night Caden had basket ball practice and I tried to get a good shot of him playing but it was not meant to be. Instead I got this cute shot of Meghan "patiently" waiting for practice to end. I did a little editing in Photoshop with some M4H actions. She's all decked out in "Peanut Butter"!

Day 5 started out pretty good. I got a nice long nap on the couch and then Bry texted to see if I wanted a lunch date. Duh? Of course! So we had a nice lunch at a local restaurant and came home. I was in the middle of doing laundry and picking up a half full laundry basket when I heard a pop in my lower back and just fell to the ground. The pain was excruciating. I got a prescription for some muscle relaxers and steroids to help the swelling in my back. Now, on Saturday, I feel much better but still walk like a little old lady. I had planned on taking much better pics but this is the only one I have from that day. Shamrock was soundly sleeping on the couch (where she is NOT supposed to be) with the sunlight warming her up.

Last but not least is Friday. I felt much better yesterday but I still had a hard time moving around. On top of that, the muscle relaxers make my body feel like it is filled with lead and I just want to go to sleep! Today we are only taking 1/2 considering I have two basketball games to go to as well as picking Meg up from rehearsal. Falling asleep sitting up would not be good! But its only fitting that the last picture is of the things that are sustaining me right now.

My challenge for 2011

2011-01-04T22:05:00.000-06:00

So for the last couple of years, the blog/scrapping/photography world has had a 365 days challenge. Take a picture a day for the entire year. I've admired it but never attempted it. This year I am actually going to try. I am successful so far except for January 1st. The picture I used was technically taken on the 1st, just very very early in the morning. :) Just wasn't in the shape for picture taking on the actual day. The rest however, I'm doing really well with.

We are now at the 4th of January and this is what I have so far....

January 1

My first self-portrait of the year, with my lovely friend Janice.

January 2

This would be the mess on my dining room table after taking down the real Christmas Tree and putting it out on the curb for recycling. Unfortunately, this mess is still there.

January 3

This pic is probably my favorite because it is the kids backpacks all lined up and waiting for them to take them and get on the bus. That's right.... school is back in session!!

January 4

This is today's picture. It is basically all I am able to drink right now. I have given up Coke for my New Year's Resolution. "People" say that you can lose a lot of weight by foregoing soda so I'm going to try. We'll see if I've lost any weight by the end of this month. That will pretty much determine if I keep up with it! I miss my pop sooooo much!

So that's it for now. Fingers crossed I'll be able to keep up, especially once baseball/softball season starts.

My new chair

2010-10-24T16:52:00.000-05:00

I have a good friend who really enjoys shopping at thrift stores. She swears by them and says you can find anything you need at the Goodwill. Me...not so much. I hate the smell that assaults you when you walk in the door. What is the smell?? Musty, dusty, moldy gross smell. I make it a point to avoid thrift stores at all costs ... unless I need something. Like today. My friend calls and says she has found a chair at Goodwill for me. You see, last night we were at a baseball fundraiser and she was talking about her latest thrift store trip. I said that if she ever came across a cool, old, vintage looking chair to let me know. I was looking for one as a prop for photography.

This is the awesome chair she found...

The best part is it was only $6.99!!! Look at the circles on the arms. Love it.

Here is that super cool chair on a mini photo session with Meg so I could see how it will look...

Don't cha love it!

Bryan.. not so much. I wish I had my camera ready when I took it out of the car. It was a mixture between disgust and confusion and I'm sure a bit of dismay knowing I will want to keep it in the garage! Poor Bryan. It's only gonna get worse. I have her on the lookout for a red velvet one too!

Lesson 3

2010-08-27T10:24:00.000-05:00

My photography class is currently on Lesson 3. I get to download Lesson 4 today and I have high hopes that I will learn a bit more than I have to this point. Being the nerd that I am, I have read tons of books about photography and my camera trying to figure the whole thing out. The problem is I never took those books and put them to actual use. That's the difference with this class. There are assignments that need to be completed which is what makes me actually use the stuff I'm reading about!

Lesson one basically consisted of photography background, the first cameras, how film works, finding your photographers eye, blah blah blah. The assignment was to create a mat and look through it to find your eye. Ummm, no. Lesson two had a bit more about Rule of Thirds, touched on aperature (which gets you the fuzzy back ground) but the lesson was about reading the manual that came with the camera. Let me tell you, I already have. Twice. Not to mention looking things up continually. I keep it in my camera bag just in case.

Now we are on Lesson 3 and this one is about film. Considering I have a digital camera, it wasn't super relevant but did learn some interesting facts. Once again, not a lot that i didn't already know but at least the assignment included picking up my camera and taking pictures! And this is where the trouble begins. We got the option of picking either finding "rule of thirds" photos or messing with the ISO pictures.

This is an example of a rule of thirds photo:

See how C is to the left third of the pic? This is to make things more visually interesting. Not rocket science I know. You do see this "technique" a lot in current wedding photography. You know the shot...the bride and groom under the tree and the park to the side or standing on the beach. You see more ocean than couple.

The problem with taking a pic like this is that it is used a lot in portrait photography or landscape. My kids are not in the mood for pics lately and McHenry county isn't exactly the most scenic place around. I actually believe it to be some of the most uninspiring land around! It didn't help that I looked at some of the posted photography and they were really pretty and good and I felt like a dope putting up my stupid pics.

So the other option was ISO. So our instructor says take your tripod (ummm, don't have one) and head to a dark spot in the woods, or a cave or a dark candlelit church (seriously???) and take some pictures at ISO 100 vs ISO 400. OR, go to a sporting event (check) in bright sunlight (check) and take photos of relatively the same thing at 100 and again at 400 and see the difference. So I pack up my gear and head to B's flag football practice. The first shot is taken at ISO 100:

The photo below is taken at ISO 400:

Notice a difference?

Me either. Hmmm. Now what? Thank goodness there are still 9 more lessons!!

Expanding my horizons

2010-08-20T17:03:00.002-05:00

For Mothers Day my husband and kids got me a Canon XS DSLR. It was the camera I'd been coveting for awhile though any DSLR would have made me happy. For the past several months I have been using my fancy big camera in much the same way I used my crappy little point and shoot just with a better lens. In my defense, our summers are crazy busy with dance and baseball and softball so getting good shots of the kids in their activities was my main goal. I consider that, for the most part, achieved. I created my first ever photo scrapbook for Caden's baseball team and I'm really proud of the end result though I did find some mistakes once I had it in my hands.

So now summer is winding down and the kids are heading back to school in 4 more days! I haven't picked up my camera much during the entire month of August. I wanted to take pics of the kids at a local park in the hopes of blowing one up big and framing it but the heat was really bad coupled with my insecurity of being able to capture what I wanted. Every day was too sunny, too hot, too cloudy... you get the picture.

So I decided to talk my friend Colleen into taking a class at the local college with me. Due to our schedules, however, a sit down classroom class was just out of the question so our class is online. Today is day 2 of a 12 lesson course. I haven't looked at it just yet but the first lesson was pretty easy to understand and follow so I have high hopes for the upcoming lessons. What I'm hoping most to learn is how to use lighting to my advantage instead of always fighting against it!

So expect to see some pics over the next few weeks of random stuff that will be the assignments for my class. Wish me luck!

Pity Party

2010-03-08T21:45:00.003-06:00

So Eileen is bugging me to write a new post as it has been since Christmas!

All I have to say is WELCOME TO MY PITY PARTY!!!

I am having a really bad day, bad couple of days really, and it has dropped me into a terrible funk. I'm having a few days where, the harder I try to do everything I need to do, the more stuff gets left behind. Accidentally of course.

I am feeling pressure from so many different angles and I'm having a seriously difficult time prioritizing. As usual though, my poor kids get the shaft.

It starts with the little things like forgetting to give them their $3 for the last Dippin' Dots day of the year, forgetting to have B where a hat to school for Cat in the Hat day.

Then we progress to the middle where I forget about a book report until the night before its due, miss a volunteer day, or forget a to RSVP to a birthday party.

Lately though, has been more serious such as forgetting to pick up a girl from her babysitter and take her to dance. And the worst, messing up the email chain and not taking Meghan to a rehearsal for the 4 performances coming up this Saturday. As a result, she can't dance in any of them. She's crying, I'm crying because she's so upset and its my fault. Nothing worse than the weekend before St. Patty's day and an Irish dancer who isn't allowed to dance.

Add to that all the other miscellaneous little things that I have to do and haven't done or have forgotten about like
-bookclub at my house Friday
-the upstairs bathroom is tore apart
-I need to find a restaurant in San Antonio that will be able to host 60-80 people
-3 baseball/softball schedules coming in that I need to coordinate
-4 birthday parties in the next 2 weekends
-2 NCAA Tournament pools we need to run (one for Baseball, one for dance)
-Have to book the Wisconsin hotel rooms for dance (I am the travel secretary)

Oh and don't forget that starting Friday, I will be working full-time until spring break for the first time in 10 years!

Please, pray for me and I hope you had a good time at my Pity Party. See you in July!!

2009-12-02T13:43:00.003-06:00

It is officially December and the holiday season is upon us. Grrrrr. I just don't feel like it. I swear the older I get, the less I like Christmas and all the crap that goes with it.

It was so much more fun as a kid when you were dragged from place to place, party to party, scooping up as much loot as you possibly could. It was nice to see the cousins, there was always good food, and always the chance that you would get a present or two.

Now that I'm grown and a mom, I get to do all the work and get none of the fun. Christmas to me now is nothing but pressure. Pressure to get the presents bought and wrapped and hope that I got the right stuff; trip after trip to the store to acquire said presents all the while worrying if there is enough money to buy it all. I enjoy the parties, but they require trips to the store, wrapping, cooking. It's the leadup to parties I don't like. Once I'm there, with a glass of wine in hand I'm all good. I find that when people open the presents I've gotten them, I don't care. I don't care if they like it, wanted it, whatever. In the past, I used to take so much time to pick my Christmas gifts. I just loved it. I guess I had enough people open what I so carefully picked for them, and just toss it to the side never to be seen again that I do not invest as much of myself in the gift giving.

As for my kids, they have so much stuff, my house is bursting at the seams. We have instilled a rule that after Christmas, they have to give up one thing for each gift they were given. It helps but not enough. I also grew up going to Catholic school and all that it entailed. There isn't one in this area and my kids go to public school. There, they don't have a Christmas party, they have a "holiday party". The most Christmas-y they can get in song is Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. My kids don't know the words to "Away in a Manger" when it comes on the radio and that makes me sad. It's partially my fault. I don't get them to church near as often as I should but even if I did, the daily dose of Jesus and religion you get at a Catholic school cannot be replicated anywhere else. It hurts my heart that my kids are growing up without it. They will never be in a bathrobe playing a wise man in the Christmas play or have a Choral concert with nothing but religious songs. They look at me like I'm nuts because I can sing Adeste Fidelis...all the verses...all in Latin.

Huntley has been talking about going to year round school. If that happens, the kids will be headed for Catholic school even though that means a 20-30 minute ride to school every day. Maybe then I'll like Christmas more. I was going to go to the school board meeting to oppose it. Maybe I should just stay home and take my chances.

Happy Holidays.

Stupid people piss me off

2009-11-12T15:00:00.003-06:00

I know it sounds like a twitter of Facebook status but it is so true. Stupid people piss me off!

Now I have friends who would consider me stupid for volunteering to do some of the things I do. I have heard the phrase "I told you so" more often than I care to admit. More often lately.

See, I volunteered to be the Transportation Committee Chair for my daughter's dance company. My thinking was that I would be sure to get the hotel I wanted when the group traveled. For the most part it hasn't been too bad. A little moaning here and there but nothing I can't handle. Until now.

The owner of our school is organizing a trip to Texas for the girls. Obviously this is a much larger trip than any of the overnights that I have planned this past year. The emails from parents started rolling in within 24 hours of the announcement of the trip. Mostly people trying to be helpful, though a couple of days to get things in order before doing your own research would have been nice, but whatever. Let it go.

A few days pass, I find and secure a fantastic deal at a hotel that fits 99.9% of the main requests of the group. I have spent countless hours on the phone, Internet, faxing, signing, contracts, blah blah blah. Once it is all approved by the owner of the dance company and finalized with the hotel, I send out an email to the entire group giving the details. Another few phone calls ensue because of booking issues, etc but not a lot of trouble. And then last night I get an email.

Someone in the group has done their own research and found a hotel and went ahead and blocked 10 rooms for our group but can get more if we want more. The hotel is DOUBLE the price of the other hotel, doesn't have some of the basic things I was asked to look for and because of the traditional setup, many families would have to book two rooms so for those families, this hotel is triple the price. But it is a "luxury" hotel.

Trust me..."luxury" hotel was not one of the requirements I was asked to find. Free breakfast? yes, Suites? Yes. Pool? Yes. Luxury?? Never even came up!

I gave the guy the benefit of the doubt and thought that maybe he hadn't received some of the original emails, but then I scrolled further down his email and realized that he had responded to my email giving the details of the hotel! Does he think I am going to keep track of his hotel? Am I supposed to send out the details to everyone?

I don't think so.

I'm done.

Time Flies

2009-11-11T15:55:00.003-06:00

Wow! I can't believe how long it has been since I have updated my poor blog.

Unfortunately, months of dealing with computer issues, kids home for summer vacation, and more computer issues the blog got dropped.

The funny thing is that in my mind, it has post after post on it. I make posts in my head all the time I just don't type them here! I wish I could remember what all of them were because it would give me lots of fodder for the next few weeks. :)

Hopefully I will do a better job of this, but since I still don't have a computer I can't make any promises.

Gullible

2009-04-22T16:12:00.002-05:00

Maybe it's because she's a girl that I worry more about her than the boys. It's hard to tell since she's my only girl.

For such a beautiful and (sometimes) sweet thing, she has some terrible self-esteem. On top of that, she is way too trusting. She'll believe anything someone she considers a friend, tells her. It's a recipe for disaster that has burned her many times in the past.

It's reared its ugly head again today, but the difference is that instead of feeling that is a life lesson, I'm pissed because she was totally taken advantage of by an older kid she looks up to. It sucks.

So....

For Easter, my fabulous Aunts hide Easter eggs for the kids. Inside them is money. Each kid gets to find about a dozen eggs and ends up with ten bucks. Not bad for 20 minutes work. Meg took this money to school with her yesterday. Why??? Who knows. It's the mystery of Meghan. But probably to show off.

She shows it to her seatmate Hailey, on the bus. Hailey is a fifth grader. Meghan sits with her since an incident on the bus where a lovely boy was holding her and kicking her leg telling her he was going to break it. She left the bus sobbing with a huge welt and bruise on her thigh. Normally a 2nd grader wouldn't sit with a 5th grader but I think the bus driver did it to protect her.

Anyway.... all I hear about is Hailey. Hailey helps her with her reading, Hailey helped me do my Math, Hailey quizzed me on my spelling words, Hailey, Hailey Hailey.....

You get my drift.

So apparently Meg shows her the Easter money yesterday on the bus and Hailey tells her she just got a doll that had another smaller doll with it. Meghan tells her that if she doesn't want it, she'll take it and fabulous Hailey tells her that she can buy it for the low low price of just $4. I know none of this until Meg walks into the bathroom I am cleaning and tells me the story and asks if I'm mad.

Well of course I want to see what her $4 has purchased and she pulls out from behind her back a troll doll that is MAYBE an inch high. For four dollars.

Then she starts bawling. She said that she paid her yesterday (sight unseen) and when she got the doll today, she was really upset. Meghan told her she didn't like the doll and wanted her money but of course Hailey did not have it anymore.

So what was my response you ask? I told her to tell Hailey she wants her phone number because her mom is really upset and wants to talk to Hailey's mom.

What do you think?

Normally I am a "life lesson" person, but I just can't tolerate this. It's just mean.

At the same time, when is Meghan going to learn her lesson??? People are not nice. They just aren't. Especially kids. Yet she never stops trying to be a people pleaser and doing anything to get them to like her. It makes me nuts especially considering that is so opposite my personality.

My fear is that this will not go away. When she gets older, the peer pressure becomes worse and more dangerous. I fear that she will allow some boy to pressure her into sex when she isn't ready. I fear her friends will be able to get her to drink or worse when it's not what she really wants to do. A million things have been going through my head the last few months regarding Meghan. I hope I am being silly, overreacting, whatever. Please tell me that I am.

Please.

Maybe the Recession isn't such a bad thing....

2009-04-15T21:03:00.002-05:00

I know most people would think that I was crazy to say that, but I really believe it's true. Now B and I are struggling like most people. For heaven's sake, he's in the mortgage business so you know we're not exactly rolling in dough right now!

But at the same time, we got so comfortable before. Going out shopping was like a sport. I remember when the mortgage crisis first began, Meghan said to me while getting dressed for school "I just want to wear something I have to take the tags off!" Meaning I hadn't bought her anything new in a while and it wasn't something she was used to. I was so pissed. I thought she was being a total spoiled brat, and she was. But I had created that monster.

Over the last couple years, I thought I had broken her of this spoiled nonsense, but apparently not. A couple of Sundays ago, after church (yes mom, I went to church!) Meg asked if we could go to the big mall (aka: Woodfield) and do some shopping. She said she wanted some alone time with me. *insert eye roll*

Being the fantastic mother I am (and not wanting to lay around all day) I agreed to go. We had a really pleasant afternoon of wandering the mall and looking at stuff. I let her lead the way and go wherever she wanted. Towards the end of the afternoon, I wanted to head into H&M to look around. While there, Meghan found a few really cute (and cheap) things that she wanted me to buy her. I told that I couldn't buy her anything, but that she had enough money on her to buy them herself. She informed me that she REALLY wanted a new Webkinz so how about she buy that, and I buy the clothes. A born salesperson already.... That got shot down quickly. I told her she had to make a tough decision but could only get the clothes or the Webkinz.

She called Caden from the dressing room to see if there was a Lil'Kinz in the animal she wanted. (For those that don't know, a lil'kinz is a downsized webkinz and only $10 instead of $15). It didn't. Big decision still looming. We decided to walk around the store for a bit while she thought about it. While looking around, she peeks in her purse and says, "Mommy, I found another $10!" "Great!" I say. "Now you can get all the clothes you wanted and a Webkinz."

So we head to the register to pay. The total would have been $21 minus tax. But then the tax hit and she had to use a fiver to pay. She was pissed. Telling me she didn't understand why she had to pay tax (that makes two of us) and it wasn't fair. Now she wouldn't be able to get the webkinz. So I tell her, if you are a dollar or two short, I will make up the difference. Nice mommy, right?

We leave the store hand in hand, everyone happy. As we are heading towards Hallmark to buy the webkinz, I reach into my coat pocket where my phone was and notice something. The $10 bill I had in my pocket is missing. Hmmm...... interesting how my daughter happened to find ten bucks at such a fortuitous time! Oh, man was I mad. I stalked right out of that mall and to the car with Meghan following me the whole time whining about her Webkinz.

Once we get in the car, it finally dawns on her that we were NOT getting the Webkinz. I guess it takes the 7 year old brain awhile to compute this stuff. Then the screaming and waterworks start. Oh man, I could have killed her! But the best is yet to come. . . She asks to call her father to narc on me and how bad of a mother I am. Sure, sweetie...have at it. I hand her my phone and she calls him. The whining does nothing so she hangs up on him. So, I'm not taking her bait. I'm not yelling or screaming, not getting upset, nothing. So she goes for the jugular at the first opening.

I tell her, "I can't just buy you everything you want."
Meg - "I don't know why not. Everyone else gets whatever they want!"
Me - "That's not true."
Meg - "I don't know why we have to be poor JUST BECAUSE YOU WON'T GO GET A JOB!"

Now I don't generally let my kids hurt my feelings. They can say they hate me and I'm mean, blah blah blah and it doesn't bother me at all, but that one comment really got to me. I mean, what the fuck am I doing this for??? Why did I give up my career and my life, just to raise a bunch of little fucking brats???? How much this hurt my feelings really surprised me. I struggled to not cry because that's what she wanted. To hurt me. It worked. I know that someday she will realize she was lucky even though now it feels like a burden. Someday she will understand how much a woman sacrifices to stay at home with her children. Someday she will appreciate she got a different type of everything, that had nothing to do with money.

2009-03-21T10:10:00.003-05:00

Oh Plo! I'm so sorry. Word cannot express how I feel.

When I realized what was happening, I ran so fast to your house, in heels :), that I got a stitch in my side. I don't run for just anybody!

I was so scared for you and the kids. I still am.

To see you so calm, cracking the usual Paula jokes and greeting everyone you knew, it made my heart ache.

I wish there was more i could do.

I wish I could make it so it never happened.

I wish we could all un-see the images of last night.

I hope the insurance company is fast and fair.

I hope your kids aren't traumatized.

I hope you can come back home soon.

I pray for you every day.

I love you my friend.

The Shine is off the Shamrock

2009-03-17T15:17:00.006-05:00

St. Patrick's Day has always been one of my favorite days. As an Irish-American, we have always been taught to love and be proud of our heritage...and I am!

I spent many drunken years at the South Side Irish Parade. After seeing one too many exposed private parts peeing on the side of bars with my children along, we stopped attending. Maybe we'll go again once I can raise a Guinness with my kids!

I decorate for 3 holidays each year...Christmas, Halloween and St. Patty's Day. Easter doesn't even make the cut (something about all those bunnies disturbes me).

So it was a natural progression for my only daughter to take Irish Dance lessons. When she was asked this year to join the performance group, I was delighted. I thought about how fun this season was going to be. She got her dress and we couldn't wait for it all to begin.

Now I just keep thinking my life will begin again after St. Patricks Day.

I even had a mom of one of her friends call me and ask if her daughter had done something wrong that Meg couldn't have a play date and didn't return her calls. I just laughed and said that it was simply that I have an Irish Dancer and it is one week before St. Patricks Day!

I'm exhausted and I'm not dancing. With the beautiful weather, Meg was in flip-flops and I could see the healing blisters and calluses on her feet. I can only imagine how happy she'll be to have this particular season end. Hopefully it will better next year when we know what to expect. This has been a steep learning curve for us.

I still love watching her dance. I am so proud at how far she has come in just a year and a half. I can just imagine the dancer she will become over the next few years. It makes me a little jealous but just beaming with pride that my daughter is out there in front of all those people with such poise.

(This is not her...someday)

Someday St. Patrick's Day will once again be a big drunken party but for now I'm going to try and enjoy sharing this small piece of our heritage with the world!

2009-03-02T22:27:00.004-06:00

Ok, so I found one of the coolest freebie websites in a long time. This lovely lady from texas is GIVING AWAY actions she has created for photoshop. Her blog is called Coffeshop and she is one talented lady. When I watch the computer do its magic, I can't imagine how someone makes it happen!

I'm giddy. Seriously. I have been playing around all day.

So here are some before and afters using an action called Honey Retro:

Before

After:

Before:

I think Meghan's eyes look really cool in this one.

After

Isn't she cute? I just love the artsy look this action gives the picture.

I have been so bad about getting good pics of the kids lately. Hopefully my new toys will give me inspiration to take more pictures of them.

When did I get trapped in a movie?

2009-02-17T17:00:00.010-06:00

I am living with Marley.

I'm not kidding. Shamrock is nuts. I feel like its never going to get better. She's been horrible this winter. I think she is suffering from the same cabin fever the kids get. Since she has no one to argue and fight with, she wreaks havoc upon my home.

Here's her latest:

That is my bedroom carpet. I've been wanting new, but I kinda figured I'd be able to pick WHEN I got it!

Next....

What's this you ask?

That would be the line that runs underground from my sump pump to the drain.

Why is it uncovered?

I betcha you can guess. . . That's right, Shamrock. After she pulled the hose out of the house we had to make a temporary fix. This is it:

Pretty, huh? Since the water dumps in the same place, it created a small hole which Shamrock has made increasingly larger. Now it is her personal, muddy watering hole.

This is what she looks like after she's been playing in the mess:

Still not convinced I'm living with Marley? Well, here's my couch:

She has been suffering from an undiagnosed bladder infection. Before the medication, she was up at least once during the night for a potty break. She could go 4 hours tops...at 10 months old. Since November, I have cleaned up more pee than when Caden was potty training! Thankfully after a few days of the medication, that's starting to get better. My bedroom hasn't been her personal toilet in about 3 days! Progress!!!

I've lost:

curtains,
pillows (bed and throw),
a comforter,
2 blankets (including the one a college friend quilted for my wedding),
endless rolls of toilet paper and kleenex,
the kids homework (imagine writing that note to the teacher!),
stuffed animals,
barbies,
shoes,
webkinz (and those suckers are expensive),
brushes
my hardwood is warped in about 5 spots due to pee not caught quickly enough
my (brand new) glass have bite marks and scratches
my DEBIT CARD for God's sake! The little credit card slider thing at Target won't even accept it because of the bite mark!

(Notice how all this is plural??)

I've had enough!!! Even Guiness, the devil dog, was never this bad! The problem is she's so damn cute and snuggly. She knows when she's pushed you to the brink and then she turns her pretty golden eyes up at you and then the melting occurs.

Someday she's going to be a great dog...someday.

Someday can't come soon enough!!

Hope

2009-01-20T14:36:00.003-06:00

I guess that is the one word that personifies how I feel today. Other people I know have been able to phrase all of this much more eloquently than I am able. I guess it feels to mushy for me, but today, I feel hopeful.

There is a new family in the White House. They are young and in touch with real people. They are not career politicians. They have a family and young children. I hope that they will be able to address the concerns that I have since they are in a similar position. (except for the mansion, the millions, the security....you get the idea! (= ) They worry about good schools, getting their girls into college, juggling a crazy life!

I have hope that other nations will no longer look at this country I love like the goo on the bottom of their shoes. I have hope that we will once again be admired around the world for our sense of justice and doing the right thing. I have confidence this country voted to do the right thing.

I do not have a sense of hope in the opposition. I know they will relentlessly attack, as they have already shown. I do not have hope that they will allow Obama to do the job he was elected to do. I fear they will strike him down at every opportunity, just because. I do not have hope that those that judge him by the color of his skin. I fear they will continue to do just that and use it as a weapon to try and tear him down.

I have hope that we as a country won't allow it to happen.

Good luck President Obama. I place my trust in you.

2009-01-20T14:28:00.000-06:00

Just testing my new background.

Boy, Did I screw up!

2009-01-09T15:00:00.003-06:00

So we've gone and done something I thought I would never do. (No Eileen, I'm no pregnant again!)

B and I have stepped in at school and our asking Meg to be transfered to another classroom for the rest of the year.

Oh Lord I hope I have done the right thing.

My heart is telling me I am, but my head is saying maybe we should have stuck it out a little longer.

The problem is that it isn't ME sticking it out. It's her. It's her that cries when it's time to go to school. It's her that is feeling beat down and unliked. It's her that is losing ground so fast that I'm afraid that there isn't enough time left in the school year to make it up.

It's all on her and her little 7 year old shoulders.

So it was time for mom and dad to step in. We put it off hoping things would get better. Hoping her real teacher would come back quickly. But circumstances this week have shown us that it doesn't matter if her teacher comes back in a week. The damage is done and we no longer have any confidence in that room...regardless of who is standing in front of it. Too much time wasted. Too many bad things and memories.

It is time for her to get a fresh start with someone who understands her and can help.

I feel so guilty. My Meg can be a bit of a drama queen. We thought a lot of this was an act or embellished but when the proof is looking you in the face, you have to believe. Could I, should I have done something sooner. We thought we were teaching her a life lesson about getting a long with different personalities, coping with difficult situations and making the best of it. But in the end, have we managed to really fuck her up?

I seriously wonder if she will be allowed to 3rd grade at this point. Is that my fault?

I guess I can only do the best I can with what I know now but it really doesn't feel like enough. I feel like I failed my little girl and my heart is breaking.

What kind of mother am I?

I'm embarassed

2008-12-10T12:25:00.002-06:00

It's an embarassing day to be from Illinois, let alone Chicago. I like my city to be in the spotlight for good things like the White Sox winning the World Series, or the pending 2016 olympics.

Not for yet another corrupt freaking politician!

I voted for this jackass.

I defended him feeling that Mike Madigan was being unfair and running a game against Blagojevich as a favor to Blago's father in law (who detests him! That's gotta be saying something). But no. Instead, we have the biggest idiot ever running our state and making us a complete laughing stock of the rest of the country. (Though I imagine there are some states out there breathing a sigh of relief that it isn't them!)

I am afraid that this reflects poorly on Obama. I am praying he was in no way involved in this and is actually going to do what he says he will!

I fear that the IOC is thinking "Why in the hell would we give the olympics to a state that can't even control their own govenor!".

This sucks.

I want an apology and I want it now, not that it is going to make things any better.

But the sad thing is that there isn't one forthcoming. Blago is so full of himself he seems to have deluded himself into thinking he did nothing wrong. He said as much the day before his arrest. And he's showing it by the fact that he has said he will not resign.

Jerk.

It's embarassing to be from Illinois. . . from Chicago. . . and to be a democrat.

Jerk.

I'm not gloating or anything...

2008-12-09T17:00:00.002-06:00

These are up all over downtown. Love it and couldn't resist taking a picture. This one is up on Randolph and Division, I think. Not so great with the streets downtown.

You better watch out...

2008-12-08T18:00:00.000-06:00

Little B and I were standing by the front window waiting for the kids to come home from school. He turns and looks at me with his adorable little 4 year old face and says:

B - Is Santa watching me right now?

Me - Santa is watching you all the time. Why? Did you do something you don't want Santa to see?

B - *Shrug* (Will no longer look me in the eye)

Hmmm....

(Sorry about the sideways pic. Taken with an actual, honest to God film camera so it won't let me turn it! But I'm assuming you get the idea...)

What the hell did I do?

2008-12-05T18:21:00.004-06:00

People are trying to kill me. Well, not necessarily me, but my poor mini-van. Not long ago, this happened:

Can you see it? This big dent on the side of the van? I got sideswiped in the parking lot of the dance school.

Not great especially since no one owned up to it. This was around October 25.

Then today, I am stopped at a green light because about 3 fire trucks are peeling up the road heading (I'm assuming) to a huge plume of black smoke a couple miles ahead when I am rear-ended by a little Mazda! What the Fuck! Seriously?

So I'm working myself up into a really good lather even though I have 3 four year olds in the car with me. I see this teenager get out of the car and am even more pissed. I roll down my window and...

THE KID IS DEAF!!!

Really?

Now ALL the wind has been taken out of my sails and I feel bad. The kid didn't stand a chance. We had the green but he couldn't hear the fire trucks sirens. Not really his fault and certainly not mine. *sigh* I thought he was going to cry.

Funny thing is, my car has NO visible damage. We are going to have it checked out just in case there is hidden damage but the front end of his car is totaled. His little car went right under my bumper and took out his lights and smashed his front end.

Merry Christmas!

Eating Crow (just a little)

2008-11-21T12:38:00.002-06:00

Ok, so he didn't do too bad.

I got the phone system I wanted. It has a cool black and yellow one for the garage that has protective sides in case it falls and can be submerged for up to 30 minutes without damaging the phone. (Not that I have a pool for it to fall in, but there is every chance of being left in the rain!)

So, not a Bears sweatshirt in sight, thank God.

He'll probably save that for Christmas.

Birthdays Suck

2008-11-20T18:48:00.003-06:00

It's my birthday today.

*woo hoo*

Not really.

I'm crabby.

Really crabby.

My kids are crabby too. I feel like they are trying to crawl up my ass and live there like a fricking annoying hemmoroid.

I actually yelled at Meg "It's my damn birthday. I shouldn't have to be yelling at you." What kind of sense does that make? 7 year olds don't get that my birthday should be a nice day, just like theirs is.

Before you ask, there is no particular reason I'm crabby. Birthdays don't bug me. Aging isn't too much of an issue...yet.

But it doesn't help that the presents wrapped all nicely on my dining room table in no way resemble the box for the new cordless phones I wanted or the 26 x 30 picture frame I asked for. Why bother to ask me for what I want if you aren't going to listen? Based on packaging, I assume it's a Bears sweatshirt. Why? you ask. Because I had to borrow one of Bryan's for a Bears party we went to and he was shocked to learn I did not have one of my own.

Yes.

That's exactly what I want.

A sweatshirt for a team I couldn't give two shits about.

But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he did really good. We'll see.

But I doubt it.

New Layouts

2008-10-31T14:11:00.004-05:00

Just a couple new layouts that I did using a freebie kit from Vicki at her site. She makes some really nice stuff and she just gives it away. Love it.

I couldn't resist taking this picture of my two babies napping.

This one is done at the reception from the wedding Branden was in. Neither Meghan nor Branden could hang. Too much excitment all day I guess.

I'm a dork...and it's ok.

2008-10-31T13:58:00.004-05:00

A couple of years ago, my lovely baby sister Eileen reminded me that I was old and a dork. It's not as bad as it seems, but she happened to call me the day my full view storm door was installed and I was excited, giddy even. To her 26 year old brain, I was the ultimate bore. How can one get so excited about a door. I told her that someday she would understand and she said that she hoped not.

Well, it's happened again. Me getting excited about the mundane, I mean. And here it is...

Can you see it?

Do you know what I'm talking about?

If you live out here in the boondocks of the "Far Northwest Suburbs of Chicago" you know what I'm talking about.

I haven't seen a "real" mailtruck in 6 years!

I cannot tell you how annoying it has been to me to see the mail carrier cruising around in their personal vehicle or when you get behind that person not realizing it's the mailman and have them stop short. Or try to explain to people who enjoy making fun of the fact that you live in a town famous for the Turkey Testicle Festival that the hunk of junk outside your house is the car delivering your mail.

I feel like I live in a real town now.

I'm proud of my podunk town for finally entering this millenium and getting me a freakin' mail truck!

I'm a dork.

I know.

Shamrock

2008-08-29T10:51:00.004-05:00

My latest Shamrock layout

First Day of School

2008-08-27T16:03:00.006-05:00

First day of school! Music to my ears. If you ask my kids what mom does after they get on the bus for the first day of school, they will tell you ( in a monotone, annoyed voice) "she has a margarita party". I am simultaneously doing a happy dance behind them. Cracks me up every time and annoys the crap out of them every time. In fact, I did go to a friends house for "coffee" and cinnamon rolls. (I don't do coffee, I do fountain Coke from McDonalds).

Before all that however, we had a fun filled morning of stuffing down breakfast and getting dressed, teeth brushed, etc in 45 minutes when during summer that took about 2 hours. We made it to the bus in plenty of time even with taking some cute pics of my kids.

And here they are: (Drumroll please...)

Isn't she cute?? She's excited to get back to school and see her friends but she's a bit worried about how hard it's going to be. We'll see soon enough.

This is my big 3rd grader! He was nervous because he's starting a new school. Our district has one school for Kindergarten to second grade and then you go to a different school that is 3rd to 5th grade. The school looks exactly the same except reversed but he was afraid of getting lost. My poor boy. ( He made it fine, btw, just like I knew he would)

This is the best picture I could get of all three of them because the little one is so excited to get them out of the house! He had the tv to himself, whatever snack he wanted without sharing, and of course no one competing for mom (except Shamrock)!

Ah the peace. Ah the quiet. I love school.

New Look

2008-08-26T12:05:00.003-05:00

Look! I changed my background. I was reading Elizabeth Hill Cottage and she has a really cute new background and was kind enough to give the link for it which is here. They have a bunch of really nice stuff on there that is free! My favorite thing ever!

What was I thinking?

2008-08-22T18:39:00.006-05:00

Say hello to the newest member of our family!

Isn't she sweet??

I've been having puppy fever for awhile now and we've just been looking for the right dog, breeder, price, time. Finally, we came across Amber in Sycamore and her huge litter of 11 puppies!!!

We've named our newest arrival "Shamrock". She has become "Shammie" or "The Rock" depending on who's talking and what she's doing.

Shamrock is growing like a weed and has gotten bigger in the two weeks we've had her. Having a puppy is a lot like having a toddler that gets into EVERYTHING!

That was the Poinsettia that I've managed to keep alive for two years! OH well. Thank God dad got me a new carpet cleaner a couple months back.

Training is going well and we love her to death already. I'm sure there will be more updates soon.

Why?

2008-08-06T16:10:00.003-05:00

Why do people think that just because they know you and something about your life and situation, that they can comment on it?

Why does family think they have more right than anyone else to give you their opinion?

Why do people outside your situation think that they know better than yourself how to deal with a difficult situation?

Why?

On the flipside...

Why do I care so much that they comment?

Why do I put value on their opinion just because its family?

Why does someone else's comment make me second guess how I'm dealing with things? I'm the one that has to deal and live with the situation, not them.

Why?

Most of all...

Why am I so pissed off about it?

Potty Training Tips

2008-04-24T12:04:00.002-05:00

So I've been a mom now for 8 1/2 years. And all my kids are still alive. Pretty impressive, huh? So I've decided to share some tips from my vast stores of knowledge about potty training. Potty training boys specifically.

First and foremost - wait until they want to and that probably won't be until sometime after they are 3 because boys are lazy.

Two - The hardest thing for boys to learn is the idea of "tucking". For those out there with girls, this means that there are certain parts that need to be pointed into the potty when boys are seated and attempting to go "#2".

Three - Since boys generally don't get this concept until about age 6, keep paper towels in your bathroom. Some of those flushable toilet wipes wouldn't hurt either which leads me to...

Four - While helping your son learn to use the toilet, stand to the side of your boy. Sitting in front of them is not a good idea as pee shot into the middle of your chest is NOT a good way to start the morning.

Five - Ladies, while it may seem perfectly reasonable to us, boys are not to take a square of toilet paper and blot after making pee-pee in the potty. If you teach them to do this, the first time your husband/baby daddy sees this, he will freak out. This is followed by the lesson in "shaking it off'. Self-explanatory I guess but you may want to refer to number 3.

Six - Do not distract a boy who is standing up and peeing. If you do, you run the risk of being peed on (along with the toilet, the walls, the sink and anything else in the path of the flow) as the boy turns his whole body to see what's going on. They have short little attention spans!

Good Luck and Happy Potty Training!

2008-04-22T09:57:00.008-05:00

Ahh... Spring is in the air. I love this weather. I love the smell of things coming to life again. I'm seeing neighbors that I haven't seen since Halloween. Babies that were newborns in the fall are practically walking now.

But the thing that says spring most for me is....

BASEBALL!!!

It's that first crack of the bat that lets me know that Summer is close. The home opener of the White Sox is my first day of spring. It's a tradition in my family and something I've missed only a couple of the last few years. Poor Branden was there just before his birthday with a double ear infection! Some things are just too important to miss. No matter what the reason.

This year, it was my mom, my sis Eileen and my friend Julie. My other sis was supposed to go, but duty called and she had to bail. Amy is the junior partner in her medical practice so she gets all the crap heaped on her.

So the four of us headed to the park with out hopes high. There was cold beer in the cooler and a brand new grill (since I forgot mine at home) for making some hotdogs.

We did our best to put the thing together considering it required wrenches and screwdrivers and all we had were keys and fingernails. It got the job done anyway!

We were in nosebleed seats for the game, but that's ok. I don't care where I sit as long as I'm there. Here's a view of our seats.

Not too bad. I've definitely had worse. The game was great, if a little cold! The temp that day topped out in the mid- 40's but I'll live with it. My guy Crede scored a nice home run down the third base line and we won the game so I'm not gonna complain!

For you poor souls who have never been to "The Cell" here is the view of the city as you leave the stadium. Nice, huh? Love Chicago!

Grinder Ball Rule #1 Win. Or Die Trying.

The Grinder Ball Rules were the ad slogans for the 2005 (AKA World Series) Season. They are now posted around the stadium. This is one of my favs.

The next post is about another important part of the opening series this year along with the reason I was crying like a baby before the game.

Food Courts Suck

2008-03-25T21:53:00.003-05:00

So we are on day 2 of "Spring Break". Why the quotes? Because it's freaking cold and those idiots at the Weather Channel are predicting more snow for Friday. Ridiculous!

I digress.

So day 2 of "Spring Break" was spent getting 1st Communion Pictures at the Mall. I called the Portrait Studio last week and they told me that they were "wide open" for every afternoon so I schedule my appointment for 1:20 on Tuesday. One might imagine that I left my house around 1:00 to make it to the mall with time to spare.

But no.

First we had to go to the shoe store to get nice black shoes to match the suit. Then we had to run into Lemstone because we have no special rosaries in the family making me feel a little bad for my kids that they have no traditions to carry on and no story for their rosary except for "My mom ran into the store because it was next door to Payless and she figured they'd have one."

Mother of the Year!!!

Anyway, we get to the mall with plenty of time to spare and the place was freakin' packed! I mean, people in every room, and more at each computer stand looking at their pictures. There was no where to sit with 3 kids and all our winter gear. We get in, thankfully nearly on time, and the pictures went really well. He looked adorable and like such a little man.

Here's the problem. I had to wait 30 minutes between finishing our session and being able to look at our pictures. So I had to venture into the wide open mall with my children.

*Shudder*

The first obstacle was getting past the little play area, filled to the brim with children. We navigate that hurdle and made it all the way to food court without incident. Once we hit the food court, however, all hell broke loose. I told them that we weren't getting any food, but by 2:00, I was woozy from hunger so I caved.

Once upon a time, when i was young and childless, the food court was a great place. No matter who I went with, there was something that we all wanted to eat. Even Bryan who is super picky. Now that I have kids, the options are an absolute nightmare. Why? Because I have 3 kids, none of whom want the same thing. I want Subway, Caden wants Sbarro, Meghan wants Chinese food, and Branden will accept nothing but McDonalds. Kill me now.

A good mother would probably just go from place to place and get them each what they want, but I never said I was a good mom. I went and got my Subway (pat myself on the back), and made the rest of them get McDonalds. Why did Branden get his choice? Because I simply did not want to listen to the enormous temper tantrum that was going to ensue if he didn't get his way. Simple as that. I now know why my sister was such a spoiled brat. My mom just didn't want to hear it and she figured the rest of us were older and could just deal. I'm assuming this because this is pretty much what i told Caden and Meghan.

I know choice is a good thing, just when I'm the one making the choices. Thankfully while I hold the purse strings, I AM making the choices for them...like it or not. Someday it won't always be the case, but for now I'm enjoying my power trip.

First Communion and Hooters

2008-03-18T16:29:00.007-05:00

So this is my second attempt at this post as the first one got some nasty error and then lost in cyberspace. So instead of the thoughtfully introspective first one, you are going to get the abridged version.

This past Sunday my friend Julie and I took our boys to Woodfield Mall to get them suits for their First Communion coming up in May. To say that they were reluctant to get their suits was an understatement. We thought that going together may alleviate some of their anxiety and whining about the jacket and tie.

Caden had been whining so badly over the last couple of weeks about wearing a suit that I finally screamed, er I mean commented, that Jesus said all kids had to wear a suit. Yep that's right. I pulled the Jesus card. It shut him up, didn't it? (This blog isn't named Mother of the Year for nothing!)

So we pull up to the mall and the excitement begins. When we get into JCPenney, the boys first ran here:

To any fellow Catholics out there, this should be amusing. There is no church on earth that would allow shirts and ties like this at a First Communion ceremony! The uniform is white shirts and dark ties. That's it.

However, my boy likes the yellow shirt and tie while Joey preferred a nice dark grey one.

We finally got them to get back to business and look for a suit. Thankfully there isn't much choice at that age. We had to go to another store in order to get shirts and ties. Caden wanted no part of the zip tie and headed straight for a solid black silk tie.

Here is the result:

Isn't he handsome?

This almost made me cry. He's not my baby anymore.

I looked at him and wondered where had the time gone?

Where was my newborn, too small for any of the clothes we'd bought? Or the 15 month old who Finally learned to walk? Or the preschooler who didn't want to go to school twice a week because he loved his mommy too much to leave her?

*sigh*

Good Lord! What am I going to be like when he goes to Prom or heaven forbid get married?

Since the boys were so good and happily tolerated trying on jackets and ties, shirts and belts (not to mention my incessant picture taking) that Julie and I decided to take them out to a nice lunch. One where people served US! So off we went figuring on going to Red Robin or Chili's or something until something caught our eye...

Yeah Yeah Yeah! I don't want to hear it. We brought our 8 year old boys to Hooters for lunch.

Julie had never been there and I LOVE Hooters. They have the best wings around regardless of what the waitresses might (or might not) be wearing!

The boys loved it.

Especially because of this:

Our waitress was very sweet to take a picture with the boys.

Their dads were very proud of them. (Idiots)

I hope the boys always remember this day, and I don't mean Hooters! I hope they remember spending the day with their moms and each other buying their first suits for a big occasion in their lives.

Though they'll probably mostly remember Hooters.

LOL

Back from the Dead

2008-03-11T09:43:00.002-05:00

Holy Cow! Has it really been over a month since I've posted???

Time flies when you are on your death bed.

My house was gripped with the horrible flu epidemic of 2008. It's symptoms included a horrible hacking cough (Not a good thing, especially after 3 kids), completely stopped up sinus cavities, high fever, achy body so that sweet hugs from my kids were painful. Even bryan took time off work and that NEVER happens. I think he's taken 2 sick days in the 14 year we have been together.

Since my recovery, it seems that I have merely been spending time catching up on everything that wasn't done during the 2 1/2 weeks that neither of us could rise from the couch. Overflowing laundry baskets, a disgusting kitchen floor, furniture so dusty you could write your name in it etc. etc.

But here's what gets me when, as a wife and mother, you get sick:

My lovely husband made the comment to me that he didn't think I was as sick as he was because I was able to get up and move around.

I didn't dignify that with a response. It would have been filthy if I'd said what I was thinking.

The cleaned up version is that I was just as sick as he was, I'm just not allowed to wallow on the couch. I have 3 kids who aren't sick (which makes everything worse) who still need to eat, go to school, get taken to activites, finish homework and on and on. As a mom, I don't have time to get sick. They need me and don't really care that it takes every bit of the energy left in my body to rise from the couch and microwave yet another chicken patty for dinner. They don't care that helping them with counting money hurts my head so badly that I want to dig my eyeballs out with a spoon just to relieve the pressure. All they know is that I'm mom and I need to help them like I always do.

The next comment was how come I got to stay home from work when he felt bad too, but had to go in. My response to that, besides calling him a great big whining baby, was because I am a substitute. They send teachers home for looking and sounding like I did. If I walked into a school looking like the walking dead, I would certainly not be appreciated. Now, If I had my own classroom, i would have been back sooner, but I don't, so I didn't.

All of you in my district can thank me now for not infecting your children.

Happily, I am back in fine form now.

Right in time to start my next (and last!) online class!!!

Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Who stole my brain and can I have it back please?

2008-02-01T15:46:00.001-06:00

So I know that it is pretty much a fact that pregnancy steals your brain (alongside your body, your balance and a bunch of other stuff I have blocked out), but I never realized that nearly 4 years after my final pregnancy, I still wouldn't have my brain back!

Silly me decided that the easiest way to complete the 5 hours of continuing ed that I needed to keep my teaching certificate current, would be to do it online. So I applied at a large On-Line University. My thinking was I could take this class from the comfort of my home on my own time. Everyone would still get to dance class, basketball, football, CCD and all the other things we need to do and I would get my credits.

Only thing is...I seemingly no longer have a brain.

It makes it tough to go to school.

Really, really tough.

This class is kicking my butt all over the comfort of my own home. This would be why I haven't posted in ages. I am blessedly almost through 2 weeks of a 3 week class but the amount of work and reading required is ridiculous. Plus I have to do a GROUP PROJECT!!!!

I hate group projects. I have always hated them. I think it started at some point in high school when it seemed like I alone completed the majority of the project. They simply leave a bad taste in my mouth. Now, I get to do a virtual group project.

Kill me now.

So my schedule for this week is/was:

Tuesday: Read Chpts 3, 4, 5, 6 (about 35 pgs each)
Wednesday: Submit Junior High/Middle School Debate Paper (with APA Citations - Like I remember what the heck those are anymore!)
Thursday: Answer 2 of 4 discussion questions
Friday: Submit Parent Brochure
Saturday: Adolescent Characteristics Paper
Monday: Learning Summary

Plus we have to post "meaningful responses" to other posts 4 out of 7 days.

Kill me now.

All of this is seriously making me think that my brain got hijacked in-utero by one of my children and I want it back. Problem is, I don't know which one. I'm not really sure when the ability to acquire higher learning was sucked out!

Since being a mother, my common sense knowledge has skyrocketed. I have learned that the 5 second rule can be extended to the "as long as I know it's yours" rule. I have learned that kids hate to brush their teeth, but its easier when they have watermelon toothpaste and a toothbrush that sings to them. I have learned that arguing over outfit choices with a three year old is a losing battle. Just let them wear whatever they want. No one cares.

There are days that my kids think I am brilliant.

My fellow classmates, however, probably wish I would just log off.

As I told my teacher, I will probably get used to all this and catch up on day 5 of week 3. It will be too late to help with this class, but I still have one more to go and I think I'll need all the help I can get.

Up next: Adolescent Psychology! Yikes!

MOTY walks the red carpet

2008-01-24T17:02:00.000-06:00

LOOK WHAT I GOT!!!

As you can tell from my yelling, I'm excited.

My friend Lisa@take90west just gave it to me!

Now what? I'm ready for my red carpet debut.

(Yes, that's really me)

(Gotta Love the 80's)

(yes again, that really is sparkle velvet and taffeta. I'm just a vision aren't I?)

Like how I cut my date out of the picture? He wasn't worth a spot on my blog anyway! (Can you tell he dumped me?)

Anyhoo.... I appreciate Lisa thinking of me since I'm new to this whole thing. I would like to thank her for supporting me in my blog endeavor and answering a bunch of really stupid questions about how things work around here.

All of this is my first reaction. I swear I ran upstairs to the old photo albums to find this picture immediately!

Now for my second reaction: Holy Crap! Do you know how many people read Lisa's blog???? If only 5% of them came to take a look that would be like... um... uhh.... I don't know but a whole lot more people than usual! (Math was never my best subject).

It dawned on me that people I don't know might actually look at the drivel that I write. Yikes! That is a scary thought. So please be kind if I don't know you as an actual flesh and blood person.

I hope I haven't bored you. :)

My new favorite Layout

2008-01-16T19:40:00.000-06:00

I made this on Photoshop 5.0. I love these pics of my daughter at dance class. It's like her at 6 at her at 16.

Big Lessons in Little Packages

2008-01-14T16:31:00.001-06:00

Well I definitely know that school is back in session - full swing. I am actually working all week! Very exciting. Unfortunately for the class I will be handling for the next two days, I am no sort of Math teacher. Thankfully, no teacher assumes a sub actually knows what they are doing, so hopefully its just a bunch of review! I apologize to these as of yet nameless children now. I promise to do no harm. If I don't know, I will just say that and allow your teacher to help you on Thursday!

So today I got to work in a bilingual 1st grade classroom. Going in, I was a little nervous. I had never been in a 1st grade room except to help host a holiday party. In the end, they were so sweet and it was pretty much like a normal summer day around my house. Kids everywhere all trying to talk to me at once!

There was one little boy, however, at the end of the day who almost had me in tears. We were watching the episode of "The Magic School Bus" where Miss Frizzle turns them into water. The class is working on evaporation, condensation etc, etc so this fit in nicely and a quiet way to end the day.

I turned the show off to get everyone in coats, hats, gloves etc and he was crying so hard. He had to stay at the after school program and he just wanted to go home. He kept telling me that he just wanted in Mom. He held my hand when I walked all the rest of the kids to the buses or their waiting parents and all the way back into the school. He asked through tears and snot if I could just sit with him in the classroom. And he asked me over and over, "Why can't my mom just come get me?" and all I could do was hug him.

So is this what working mothers feel all the time? I wanted to cry too, because I have a 1st grader and it would break my heart to think of her crying like that to her teacher. It makes me wonder, what in the heck am I doing? Isn't there some other way for me to make money??? But when little Jesus was settled into the afterschool program, and feeling better, I thought that I am lucky. I have a degree that will allow me to work somewhere that I will always be home after school for them. I won't be working breaks and days off or over the summer. Who knows what his mother has to do to make ends meet. I AM glad that I was there to comfort him and hope that it helped. Even just a little.

Got Ghilles?

2008-01-09T17:36:00.000-06:00

My daughter Meghan has been taking Irish Dance classes since this past summer. She absolutely loves it. It is high energy, fairly easy to learn and loves, loves, loves her teacher.

Prior to Christmas she had been complaining to anyone who would listen, that she was the only girl in class that did not have ghilles. For those of you that don't know what ghilles are, it's this:

They are $85 Irish Dance Shoes. Why are they so expensive? Because China doesn't make them yet. They are imported from either Ireland or Italy and made out of leather, etc.

Anyway, Meg was bummed so my mom (thank God for grandparents) offered to buy them for her for Christmas.

Today was her first class since getting the shoes. After 10 minutes of trying to figure out how to get them on and tied, etc, she runs into class to proudly show off her first pair of ghilles to her teacher! I was so happy for her.

When class was over I asked if her teacher was excited that she got new shoes and with a sad expression, she said "no". I asked what she did say and Meghan said her response was simply "good".

Now I'm sure the teacher just needed to get class going, especially since we were a little late getting in there what with all the tying and untying going on, but I just wish she could have taken a quick second to remember when she was 6 and got her first pair of ghilles and how proud and excited she probably was.

Oh well. Meghan has probably moved on already and its just me who is sad for her. But I am excited for her! I guess that's why I'm her mom.

How do you help a friend in pain?

2008-01-08T11:43:00.000-06:00

My neighbor/friend's mother passed away late last night.

We knew it was coming as she has been in and out of the hospital and nursing homes since Thanksgiving. My friend and her sisters decided on Sunday that this was not what their mother wanted and put a DNR in place and had the doctors remove the breathing tube yesterday.

Then they sat and waited for their mother to die.

I find that heartbreaking and could not imagine the courage it must take to make that decision for another person. What's worse today, however, is that my friend is questioning her decision. Her mom had not been able to breathe without assistance for several weeks, but after the vents were turned off, she breathed on her own for almost the entire day before finally dying. That made her second guess herself because of all the "what ifs" involved.

My response was that she knew her mother did not want to have done, the amount that was already done, let alone allow it to continue indefinitely in the hope that maybe it would improve someday. But I know her. She will beat herself up about this for months to come and I don't know how to help except to listen and remind her of all the things she had been telling me for months and weeks...that her mom wouldn't want any of this stuff done.

Sad stuff.

I love you mom!

2008-01-07T17:17:00.000-06:00

Getting a new car is supposed to fun...exciting even. So why am I so exhausted?

I guess it has a lot to do with the how and why of acquiring my new car.

Previous to this weekend, I had been rockin' a sweet 01 Chevy Venture ... Warner Bros. Edition.

I know you are jealous.

It had an awesome VCR that loved to eat tapes as well as about 110000 miles on it. This van has safely driven all 3 of my children around. It has been puked in, peed on, pooped on, a mobile restaurant, medical clinic, changing table, dressing room, taxi, limousine. It has celebrated weddings, mourned at funerals, brought a baby home from the hospital, celebrated a World Series and many Little League victories. We have used it as a warming station and cooling center, shelter from the rain and a mobile radio out at the soccer fields.

Basically, we have lived in this car for the last 6 1/2 years.

Last summer, it started acting a little funny. In stop and go traffic, the temperature gauge would rise until the A/C turned on and it went back down. The gas gauge stopped working so I started telling if I needed gas by the trip odometer. I was leaking anti-freeze somewhere and she was burning some serious oil. I haven't had an oil change in a year and a half! The oil never made it to 3000 miles before I needed to add one or two quarts. Nothing seemed too terribly serious. It had relatively new tires, newer brakes and a battery we replaced on a day that was supposed to be the family trip to the Christmas Tree Farm.

So Friday, the last day of the never-ending Winter Break, my sister-in-law invited the kids and I to go with her to Ikea. I thought great! They can go to Smaland for awhile and Ikea doesn't care if they touch, lay on and sit on everything they have in the place! Plus I get out of the house so one more day where I don't kill them and they don't kill each other. Win-Win.

So we're cruising East on 90 and just passed the 59 Exit. For all non north-siders, that is the last exit off of 90 until you get into Schaumburg or for about 10 miles...give or take. All of a sudden, my temp. gauge goes all the way to hot. Red lights start flashing, things start dinging and my car shuts down.

All while I'm going 75 in the left lane.

With my kids and sister-in-law in the car.

So we manage to get to Schaumburg going 45 on the shoulder with the hazards flashing. We get to Woodfield Chevy, check in and get set up with a Rental since the whole thing is going to take at least a couple of days and head to Ikea.

While there, I find out that the problem is that I have blown two, not one but two, head gaskets as well as some secondary cooling system and all this will take a mere 3 grand to fix.

We spend lots of time talking and gathering advice with the consensus being - ditch the car and find something else. Luckily enough, my father in law is a salesman at Chevy. His manager just happened to take in a fairly new Uplander just 2 days earlier and was due to arrive a the dealership Saturday afternoon. We go and take a look at it. It is a nice vehicle, has everything we need and best of all, the price is right. So we go home riding in our "new" car.

Yet there is still the issue of the old car to deal with! I need to go clean the sucker out. No easy task when you didn't know you would be getting rid of it. I was dying! I brought a couple of grocery bags as well as a garbage bag and it still didn't hold all of the crap in that car! Amazing what will build up after a few weeks. I had just cleaned it right before Christmas.

I'm calling tow companies trying to get a price on towing it the 40 miles to my father-in-laws dealership. Best price so far . . . $165. Then there's the changing insurance, faxing registrations, putting on license plates, and worst of all, figuring out where the heck the windshield wipers are!

As Branden and I were leaving the dealership, he hugged the old car and said good-bye. It was really sweet and I actually choked up. It's hard to just leave behind something that has been such and intregal part of your daily routine for almost 7 years.

But I have to say, the thing I will miss most... I couldn't get my White Sox World Series decals off the windows! I started to peel them off and they were flaking in my hand. Where in the heck am I gonna get one of those now!

Who am I?

2008-01-04T21:38:00.000-06:00

To be honest with you, this is a question I have been wrestling with for a couple of years now. Almost exactly 8 years ago, I became a mother. My oldest son will be 8 on January 13. For ages, being a mother was my identity. As my first two kids have started school, I'm been feeling a little lost. As they get older, I see my role in their lives changing. They no longer need me to feed them, change them and basically supply their daily physical necessities. I know they still need me, just in other less clingy ways and I'm thrilled. But in the meantime, I have a lot of free "mental" time. When the kids were babies, there was no time to read my email, let alone write a blog or do self reflection...and its freakin' me out a little.

Since some that may actually read this do not necessarily know me, I will fill in a little background. I have been married to my husband B for 10 years now. We have had a lot of ups and downs in the last 10 years but we seem to be in a pretty good spot right now and I'm really thankful for that. I swore before God and my family that we would be together forever and we are both doing our best to live up to that vow.

We have been blessed with 3 fantastic kids. Caden is my oldest at (nearly) 8. Meghan is my only girl and she is 6. Considering I swear she already has PMS and we butt heads like two rams during mating season, a lot of this blog may very well be dedicated to her! My little guy is Branden and he is 3. He is both the funniest of my kids as well as the most annoying. It may be have something to do with the amount of time we spend with just the two of us.

We live in the far Northwest Burbs of Chicago. I am originally from the Southside, so this is "the place where Jesus lost his sandals" as my family likes to tell me. I do with I lived closer (we're a little over an hour away), but I've lived this way for 9 years. Get over it. Seriously. I really like it out here. I have met a lot of fabulous people that I now have the privledge of calling my friends. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

So that's my life in a nutshell. Exciting, huh? I am happy with my life, but things are changing. Hopefully for the good.

Why are things changing? Well unless you have been in the jungles of central america for the last year, you know that the mortgage/housing industry has gone down the drain. My husband is one of the casualties. He's a mortgage guy. So my cushie life as a stay at home mom is being transformed. Once upon a time, I was a teacher. I quit that life when my first bun was in the oven and haven't looked back. Well, I am now attempting to be a substitute teacher at a couple different districts in the area. It's actually a good way to get my feet wet considering that I have stayed at home, longer than I was a teacher. I am actually taking some continuing ed courses as well in an attempt to make myself more marketable in an attempt to get a job over the summer. Wish me luck...I need it. So going into these classrooms and running them efficiently has actually been a real self-esteem boost for me. Being a mom of 3 really helps run a classroom of 28. It's easier for me now than it was back when I was 23, that's for sure. There is nothing like real life experience! So this is what has my head all twisted around. I'm having some serious guilt issues dropping my 3 year old off at the daycare center...especially since the other two had me full time. I also feel a little guilty that I'm happy to drop him off and go somewhere that I feel "useful". From what I hear, this is pretty standard stuff for working mothers and I hope that it goes away soon, because I think I really like being back at work. My head knows that it doesn't make me a bad mom, but my heart keeps telling me that I need to be at home. Unfortunately, that isn't an option right now so it makes the decision to get up and go every day a little easier on me.

Well that's plenty long enough for post number 2! I'll try and find a happier medium next time!

Why is this so scary?

2008-01-03T21:55:00.000-06:00

So this is my very first blog post and I'm really nervous. I'm nervous about sounding stupid. I'm nervous about having absolutely nothing to say. I'm nervous about people I know being able to read my ridiculous ramblings. I'm nervous that the name of my blog is too long. I'm nervous that it will become something like my myspace page... A thing that never gets used or tended to unless I'm bored and there is nothing on TV. So, I'm just going to bite the bullet and post this. Then the first one is done and off my chest and I can move on.