Maybe the Recession isn't such a bad thing....

I know most people would think that I was crazy to say that, but I really believe it's true. Now B and I are struggling like most people. For heaven's sake, he's in the mortgage business so you know we're not exactly rolling in dough right now!

But at the same time, we got so comfortable before. Going out shopping was like a sport. I remember when the mortgage crisis first began, Meghan said to me while getting dressed for school "I just want to wear something I have to take the tags off!" Meaning I hadn't bought her anything new in a while and it wasn't something she was used to. I was so pissed. I thought she was being a total spoiled brat, and she was. But I had created that monster.

Over the last couple years, I thought I had broken her of this spoiled nonsense, but apparently not. A couple of Sundays ago, after church (yes mom, I went to church!) Meg asked if we could go to the big mall (aka: Woodfield) and do some shopping. She said she wanted some alone time with me. *insert eye roll*

Being the fantastic mother I am (and not wanting to lay around all day) I agreed to go. We had a really pleasant afternoon of wandering the mall and looking at stuff. I let her lead the way and go wherever she wanted. Towards the end of the afternoon, I wanted to head into H&M to look around. While there, Meghan found a few really cute (and cheap) things that she wanted me to buy her. I told that I couldn't buy her anything, but that she had enough money on her to buy them herself. She informed me that she REALLY wanted a new Webkinz so how about she buy that, and I buy the clothes. A born salesperson already.... That got shot down quickly. I told her she had to make a tough decision but could only get the clothes or the Webkinz.

She called Caden from the dressing room to see if there was a Lil'Kinz in the animal she wanted. (For those that don't know, a lil'kinz is a downsized webkinz and only $10 instead of $15). It didn't. Big decision still looming. We decided to walk around the store for a bit while she thought about it. While looking around, she peeks in her purse and says, "Mommy, I found another $10!" "Great!" I say. "Now you can get all the clothes you wanted and a Webkinz."

So we head to the register to pay. The total would have been $21 minus tax. But then the tax hit and she had to use a fiver to pay. She was pissed. Telling me she didn't understand why she had to pay tax (that makes two of us) and it wasn't fair. Now she wouldn't be able to get the webkinz. So I tell her, if you are a dollar or two short, I will make up the difference. Nice mommy, right?

We leave the store hand in hand, everyone happy. As we are heading towards Hallmark to buy the webkinz, I reach into my coat pocket where my phone was and notice something. The $10 bill I had in my pocket is missing. Hmmm...... interesting how my daughter happened to find ten bucks at such a fortuitous time! Oh, man was I mad. I stalked right out of that mall and to the car with Meghan following me the whole time whining about her Webkinz.

Once we get in the car, it finally dawns on her that we were NOT getting the Webkinz. I guess it takes the 7 year old brain awhile to compute this stuff. Then the screaming and waterworks start. Oh man, I could have killed her! But the best is yet to come. . . She asks to call her father to narc on me and how bad of a mother I am. Sure, sweetie...have at it. I hand her my phone and she calls him. The whining does nothing so she hangs up on him. So, I'm not taking her bait. I'm not yelling or screaming, not getting upset, nothing. So she goes for the jugular at the first opening.

I tell her, "I can't just buy you everything you want."
Meg - "I don't know why not. Everyone else gets whatever they want!"
Me - "That's not true."
Meg - "I don't know why we have to be poor JUST BECAUSE YOU WON'T GO GET A JOB!"

Now I don't generally let my kids hurt my feelings. They can say they hate me and I'm mean, blah blah blah and it doesn't bother me at all, but that one comment really got to me. I mean, what the fuck am I doing this for??? Why did I give up my career and my life, just to raise a bunch of little fucking brats???? How much this hurt my feelings really surprised me. I struggled to not cry because that's what she wanted. To hurt me. It worked. I know that someday she will realize she was lucky even though now it feels like a burden. Someday she will understand how much a woman sacrifices to stay at home with her children. Someday she will appreciate she got a different type of everything, that had nothing to do with money.

Oh Plo! I'm so sorry. Word cannot express how I feel.

When I realized what was happening, I ran so fast to your house, in heels :), that I got a stitch in my side. I don't run for just anybody!

I was so scared for you and the kids. I still am.

To see you so calm, cracking the usual Paula jokes and greeting everyone you knew, it made my heart ache.

I wish there was more i could do.

I wish I could make it so it never happened.

I wish we could all un-see the images of last night.

I hope the insurance company is fast and fair.

I hope your kids aren't traumatized.

I hope you can come back home soon.

I pray for you every day.

I love you my friend.

The Shine is off the Shamrock

St. Patrick's Day has always been one of my favorite days. As an Irish-American, we have always been taught to love and be proud of our heritage...and I am!

I spent many drunken years at the South Side Irish Parade. After seeing one too many exposed private parts peeing on the side of bars with my children along, we stopped attending. Maybe we'll go again once I can raise a Guinness with my kids!

I decorate for 3 holidays each year...Christmas, Halloween and St. Patty's Day. Easter doesn't even make the cut (something about all those bunnies disturbes me).

So it was a natural progression for my only daughter to take Irish Dance lessons. When she was asked this year to join the performance group, I was delighted. I thought about how fun this season was going to be. She got her dress and we couldn't wait for it all to begin.

Now I just keep thinking my life will begin again after St. Patricks Day.


I even had a mom of one of her friends call me and ask if her daughter had done something wrong that Meg couldn't have a play date and didn't return her calls. I just laughed and said that it was simply that I have an Irish Dancer and it is one week before St. Patricks Day!


I'm exhausted and I'm not dancing. With the beautiful weather, Meg was in flip-flops and I could see the healing blisters and calluses on her feet. I can only imagine how happy she'll be to have this particular season end. Hopefully it will better next year when we know what to expect. This has been a steep learning curve for us.

I still love watching her dance. I am so proud at how far she has come in just a year and a half. I can just imagine the dancer she will become over the next few years. It makes me a little jealous but just beaming with pride that my daughter is out there in front of all those people with such poise.

(This is not her...someday)

Someday St. Patrick's Day will once again be a big drunken party but for now I'm going to try and enjoy sharing this small piece of our heritage with the world!

Ok, so I found one of the coolest freebie websites in a long time. This lovely lady from texas is GIVING AWAY actions she has created for photoshop. Her blog is called Coffeshop and she is one talented lady. When I watch the computer do its magic, I can't imagine how someone makes it happen!

I'm giddy. Seriously. I have been playing around all day.

So here are some before and afters using an action called Honey Retro:

Before

After:

Before:

I think Meghan's eyes look really cool in this one.

After

Isn't she cute? I just love the artsy look this action gives the picture.

I have been so bad about getting good pics of the kids lately. Hopefully my new toys will give me inspiration to take more pictures of them.

When did I get trapped in a movie?

I am living with Marley.

I'm not kidding. Shamrock is nuts. I feel like its never going to get better. She's been horrible this winter. I think she is suffering from the same cabin fever the kids get. Since she has no one to argue and fight with, she wreaks havoc upon my home.

Here's her latest:

That is my bedroom carpet. I've been wanting new, but I kinda figured I'd be able to pick WHEN I got it!

Next....

What's this you ask?

That would be the line that runs underground from my sump pump to the drain.

Why is it uncovered?

I betcha you can guess. . . That's right, Shamrock. After she pulled the hose out of the house we had to make a temporary fix. This is it:

Pretty, huh? Since the water dumps in the same place, it created a small hole which Shamrock has made increasingly larger. Now it is her personal, muddy watering hole.

This is what she looks like after she's been playing in the mess:

Still not convinced I'm living with Marley? Well, here's my couch:

She has been suffering from an undiagnosed bladder infection. Before the medication, she was up at least once during the night for a potty break. She could go 4 hours tops...at 10 months old. Since November, I have cleaned up more pee than when Caden was potty training! Thankfully after a few days of the medication, that's starting to get better. My bedroom hasn't been her personal toilet in about 3 days! Progress!!!

I've lost:

• curtains,
• pillows (bed and throw),
• a comforter,
• 2 blankets (including the one a college friend quilted for my wedding),
• endless rolls of toilet paper and kleenex,
• the kids homework (imagine writing that note to the teacher!),
• stuffed animals,
• barbies,
• shoes,
• webkinz (and those suckers are expensive),
• brushes
• my hardwood is warped in about 5 spots due to pee not caught quickly enough
• my (brand new) glass have bite marks and scratches
• my DEBIT CARD for God's sake! The little credit card slider thing at Target won't even accept it because of the bite mark!

(Notice how all this is plural??)

I've had enough!!! Even Guiness, the devil dog, was never this bad! The problem is she's so damn cute and snuggly. She knows when she's pushed you to the brink and then she turns her pretty golden eyes up at you and then the melting occurs.

Someday she's going to be a great dog...someday.

Someday can't come soon enough!!

Hope

I guess that is the one word that personifies how I feel today. Other people I know have been able to phrase all of this much more eloquently than I am able. I guess it feels to mushy for me, but today, I feel hopeful.

There is a new family in the White House. They are young and in touch with real people. They are not career politicians. They have a family and young children. I hope that they will be able to address the concerns that I have since they are in a similar position. (except for the mansion, the millions, the security....you get the idea! (= ) They worry about good schools, getting their girls into college, juggling a crazy life!

I have hope that other nations will no longer look at this country I love like the goo on the bottom of their shoes. I have hope that we will once again be admired around the world for our sense of justice and doing the right thing. I have confidence this country voted to do the right thing.

I do not have a sense of hope in the opposition. I know they will relentlessly attack, as they have already shown. I do not have hope that they will allow Obama to do the job he was elected to do. I fear they will strike him down at every opportunity, just because. I do not have hope that those that judge him by the color of his skin. I fear they will continue to do just that and use it as a weapon to try and tear him down.

I have hope that we as a country won't allow it to happen.

Good luck President Obama. I place my trust in you.

Just testing my new background.