Boy, Did I screw up!

So we've gone and done something I thought I would never do. (No Eileen, I'm no pregnant again!)

B and I have stepped in at school and our asking Meg to be transfered to another classroom for the rest of the year.

Oh Lord I hope I have done the right thing.

My heart is telling me I am, but my head is saying maybe we should have stuck it out a little longer.

The problem is that it isn't ME sticking it out. It's her. It's her that cries when it's time to go to school. It's her that is feeling beat down and unliked. It's her that is losing ground so fast that I'm afraid that there isn't enough time left in the school year to make it up.

It's all on her and her little 7 year old shoulders.

So it was time for mom and dad to step in. We put it off hoping things would get better. Hoping her real teacher would come back quickly. But circumstances this week have shown us that it doesn't matter if her teacher comes back in a week. The damage is done and we no longer have any confidence in that room...regardless of who is standing in front of it. Too much time wasted. Too many bad things and memories.

It is time for her to get a fresh start with someone who understands her and can help.

I feel so guilty. My Meg can be a bit of a drama queen. We thought a lot of this was an act or embellished but when the proof is looking you in the face, you have to believe. Could I, should I have done something sooner. We thought we were teaching her a life lesson about getting a long with different personalities, coping with difficult situations and making the best of it. But in the end, have we managed to really fuck her up?

I seriously wonder if she will be allowed to 3rd grade at this point. Is that my fault?

I guess I can only do the best I can with what I know now but it really doesn't feel like enough. I feel like I failed my little girl and my heart is breaking.

What kind of mother am I?

I'm embarassed

It's an embarassing day to be from Illinois, let alone Chicago. I like my city to be in the spotlight for good things like the White Sox winning the World Series, or the pending 2016 olympics.

Not for yet another corrupt freaking politician!

I voted for this jackass.

I defended him feeling that Mike Madigan was being unfair and running a game against Blagojevich as a favor to Blago's father in law (who detests him! That's gotta be saying something). But no. Instead, we have the biggest idiot ever running our state and making us a complete laughing stock of the rest of the country. (Though I imagine there are some states out there breathing a sigh of relief that it isn't them!)

I am afraid that this reflects poorly on Obama. I am praying he was in no way involved in this and is actually going to do what he says he will!

I fear that the IOC is thinking "Why in the hell would we give the olympics to a state that can't even control their own govenor!".

This sucks.

I want an apology and I want it now, not that it is going to make things any better.

But the sad thing is that there isn't one forthcoming. Blago is so full of himself he seems to have deluded himself into thinking he did nothing wrong. He said as much the day before his arrest. And he's showing it by the fact that he has said he will not resign.

Jerk.

It's embarassing to be from Illinois. . . from Chicago. . . and to be a democrat.

Jerk.

I'm not gloating or anything...

These are up all over downtown. Love it and couldn't resist taking a picture. This one is up on Randolph and Division, I think. Not so great with the streets downtown.

You better watch out...

Little B and I were standing by the front window waiting for the kids to come home from school. He turns and looks at me with his adorable little 4 year old face and says:

B - Is Santa watching me right now?

Me - Santa is watching you all the time. Why? Did you do something you don't want Santa to see?

B - *Shrug* (Will no longer look me in the eye)

Hmmm....

(Sorry about the sideways pic. Taken with an actual, honest to God film camera so it won't let me turn it! But I'm assuming you get the idea...)

What the hell did I do?

People are trying to kill me. Well, not necessarily me, but my poor mini-van. Not long ago, this happened:

Can you see it? This big dent on the side of the van? I got sideswiped in the parking lot of the dance school.

Not great especially since no one owned up to it. This was around October 25.

Then today, I am stopped at a green light because about 3 fire trucks are peeling up the road heading (I'm assuming) to a huge plume of black smoke a couple miles ahead when I am rear-ended by a little Mazda! What the Fuck! Seriously?

So I'm working myself up into a really good lather even though I have 3 four year olds in the car with me. I see this teenager get out of the car and am even more pissed. I roll down my window and...

THE KID IS DEAF!!!

Really?

Now ALL the wind has been taken out of my sails and I feel bad. The kid didn't stand a chance. We had the green but he couldn't hear the fire trucks sirens. Not really his fault and certainly not mine. *sigh* I thought he was going to cry.

Funny thing is, my car has NO visible damage. We are going to have it checked out just in case there is hidden damage but the front end of his car is totaled. His little car went right under my bumper and took out his lights and smashed his front end.

Merry Christmas!

Eating Crow (just a little)

Ok, so he didn't do too bad.

I got the phone system I wanted. It has a cool black and yellow one for the garage that has protective sides in case it falls and can be submerged for up to 30 minutes without damaging the phone. (Not that I have a pool for it to fall in, but there is every chance of being left in the rain!)

So, not a Bears sweatshirt in sight, thank God.

He'll probably save that for Christmas.

Birthdays Suck

It's my birthday today.

*woo hoo*

Not really.

I'm crabby.

Really crabby.

My kids are crabby too. I feel like they are trying to crawl up my ass and live there like a fricking annoying hemmoroid.

I actually yelled at Meg "It's my damn birthday. I shouldn't have to be yelling at you." What kind of sense does that make? 7 year olds don't get that my birthday should be a nice day, just like theirs is.

Before you ask, there is no particular reason I'm crabby. Birthdays don't bug me. Aging isn't too much of an issue...yet.

But it doesn't help that the presents wrapped all nicely on my dining room table in no way resemble the box for the new cordless phones I wanted or the 26 x 30 picture frame I asked for. Why bother to ask me for what I want if you aren't going to listen? Based on packaging, I assume it's a Bears sweatshirt. Why? you ask. Because I had to borrow one of Bryan's for a Bears party we went to and he was shocked to learn I did not have one of my own.

Yes.

That's exactly what I want.

A sweatshirt for a team I couldn't give two shits about.

But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he did really good. We'll see.

But I doubt it.