Oh Plo! I'm so sorry. Word cannot express how I feel.

When I realized what was happening, I ran so fast to your house, in heels :), that I got a stitch in my side. I don't run for just anybody!

I was so scared for you and the kids. I still am.

To see you so calm, cracking the usual Paula jokes and greeting everyone you knew, it made my heart ache.

I wish there was more i could do.

I wish I could make it so it never happened.

I wish we could all un-see the images of last night.

I hope the insurance company is fast and fair.

I hope your kids aren't traumatized.

I hope you can come back home soon.

I pray for you every day.

I love you my friend.

The Shine is off the Shamrock

St. Patrick's Day has always been one of my favorite days. As an Irish-American, we have always been taught to love and be proud of our heritage...and I am!

I spent many drunken years at the South Side Irish Parade. After seeing one too many exposed private parts peeing on the side of bars with my children along, we stopped attending. Maybe we'll go again once I can raise a Guinness with my kids!

I decorate for 3 holidays each year...Christmas, Halloween and St. Patty's Day. Easter doesn't even make the cut (something about all those bunnies disturbes me).

So it was a natural progression for my only daughter to take Irish Dance lessons. When she was asked this year to join the performance group, I was delighted. I thought about how fun this season was going to be. She got her dress and we couldn't wait for it all to begin.

Now I just keep thinking my life will begin again after St. Patricks Day.


I even had a mom of one of her friends call me and ask if her daughter had done something wrong that Meg couldn't have a play date and didn't return her calls. I just laughed and said that it was simply that I have an Irish Dancer and it is one week before St. Patricks Day!


I'm exhausted and I'm not dancing. With the beautiful weather, Meg was in flip-flops and I could see the healing blisters and calluses on her feet. I can only imagine how happy she'll be to have this particular season end. Hopefully it will better next year when we know what to expect. This has been a steep learning curve for us.

I still love watching her dance. I am so proud at how far she has come in just a year and a half. I can just imagine the dancer she will become over the next few years. It makes me a little jealous but just beaming with pride that my daughter is out there in front of all those people with such poise.

(This is not her...someday)

Someday St. Patrick's Day will once again be a big drunken party but for now I'm going to try and enjoy sharing this small piece of our heritage with the world!

Ok, so I found one of the coolest freebie websites in a long time. This lovely lady from texas is GIVING AWAY actions she has created for photoshop. Her blog is called Coffeshop and she is one talented lady. When I watch the computer do its magic, I can't imagine how someone makes it happen!

I'm giddy. Seriously. I have been playing around all day.

So here are some before and afters using an action called Honey Retro:

Before

After:

Before:

I think Meghan's eyes look really cool in this one.

After

Isn't she cute? I just love the artsy look this action gives the picture.

I have been so bad about getting good pics of the kids lately. Hopefully my new toys will give me inspiration to take more pictures of them.

When did I get trapped in a movie?

I am living with Marley.

I'm not kidding. Shamrock is nuts. I feel like its never going to get better. She's been horrible this winter. I think she is suffering from the same cabin fever the kids get. Since she has no one to argue and fight with, she wreaks havoc upon my home.

Here's her latest:

That is my bedroom carpet. I've been wanting new, but I kinda figured I'd be able to pick WHEN I got it!

Next....

What's this you ask?

That would be the line that runs underground from my sump pump to the drain.

Why is it uncovered?

I betcha you can guess. . . That's right, Shamrock. After she pulled the hose out of the house we had to make a temporary fix. This is it:

Pretty, huh? Since the water dumps in the same place, it created a small hole which Shamrock has made increasingly larger. Now it is her personal, muddy watering hole.

This is what she looks like after she's been playing in the mess:

Still not convinced I'm living with Marley? Well, here's my couch:

She has been suffering from an undiagnosed bladder infection. Before the medication, she was up at least once during the night for a potty break. She could go 4 hours tops...at 10 months old. Since November, I have cleaned up more pee than when Caden was potty training! Thankfully after a few days of the medication, that's starting to get better. My bedroom hasn't been her personal toilet in about 3 days! Progress!!!

I've lost:

• curtains,
• pillows (bed and throw),
• a comforter,
• 2 blankets (including the one a college friend quilted for my wedding),
• endless rolls of toilet paper and kleenex,
• the kids homework (imagine writing that note to the teacher!),
• stuffed animals,
• barbies,
• shoes,
• webkinz (and those suckers are expensive),
• brushes
• my hardwood is warped in about 5 spots due to pee not caught quickly enough
• my (brand new) glass have bite marks and scratches
• my DEBIT CARD for God's sake! The little credit card slider thing at Target won't even accept it because of the bite mark!

(Notice how all this is plural??)

I've had enough!!! Even Guiness, the devil dog, was never this bad! The problem is she's so damn cute and snuggly. She knows when she's pushed you to the brink and then she turns her pretty golden eyes up at you and then the melting occurs.

Someday she's going to be a great dog...someday.

Someday can't come soon enough!!

Hope

I guess that is the one word that personifies how I feel today. Other people I know have been able to phrase all of this much more eloquently than I am able. I guess it feels to mushy for me, but today, I feel hopeful.

There is a new family in the White House. They are young and in touch with real people. They are not career politicians. They have a family and young children. I hope that they will be able to address the concerns that I have since they are in a similar position. (except for the mansion, the millions, the security....you get the idea! (= ) They worry about good schools, getting their girls into college, juggling a crazy life!

I have hope that other nations will no longer look at this country I love like the goo on the bottom of their shoes. I have hope that we will once again be admired around the world for our sense of justice and doing the right thing. I have confidence this country voted to do the right thing.

I do not have a sense of hope in the opposition. I know they will relentlessly attack, as they have already shown. I do not have hope that they will allow Obama to do the job he was elected to do. I fear they will strike him down at every opportunity, just because. I do not have hope that those that judge him by the color of his skin. I fear they will continue to do just that and use it as a weapon to try and tear him down.

I have hope that we as a country won't allow it to happen.

Good luck President Obama. I place my trust in you.

Just testing my new background.

Boy, Did I screw up!

So we've gone and done something I thought I would never do. (No Eileen, I'm no pregnant again!)

B and I have stepped in at school and our asking Meg to be transfered to another classroom for the rest of the year.

Oh Lord I hope I have done the right thing.

My heart is telling me I am, but my head is saying maybe we should have stuck it out a little longer.

The problem is that it isn't ME sticking it out. It's her. It's her that cries when it's time to go to school. It's her that is feeling beat down and unliked. It's her that is losing ground so fast that I'm afraid that there isn't enough time left in the school year to make it up.

It's all on her and her little 7 year old shoulders.

So it was time for mom and dad to step in. We put it off hoping things would get better. Hoping her real teacher would come back quickly. But circumstances this week have shown us that it doesn't matter if her teacher comes back in a week. The damage is done and we no longer have any confidence in that room...regardless of who is standing in front of it. Too much time wasted. Too many bad things and memories.

It is time for her to get a fresh start with someone who understands her and can help.

I feel so guilty. My Meg can be a bit of a drama queen. We thought a lot of this was an act or embellished but when the proof is looking you in the face, you have to believe. Could I, should I have done something sooner. We thought we were teaching her a life lesson about getting a long with different personalities, coping with difficult situations and making the best of it. But in the end, have we managed to really fuck her up?

I seriously wonder if she will be allowed to 3rd grade at this point. Is that my fault?

I guess I can only do the best I can with what I know now but it really doesn't feel like enough. I feel like I failed my little girl and my heart is breaking.

What kind of mother am I?