Maybe the Recession isn't such a bad thing....

I know most people would think that I was crazy to say that, but I really believe it's true. Now B and I are struggling like most people. For heaven's sake, he's in the mortgage business so you know we're not exactly rolling in dough right now!

But at the same time, we got so comfortable before. Going out shopping was like a sport. I remember when the mortgage crisis first began, Meghan said to me while getting dressed for school "I just want to wear something I have to take the tags off!" Meaning I hadn't bought her anything new in a while and it wasn't something she was used to. I was so pissed. I thought she was being a total spoiled brat, and she was. But I had created that monster.

Over the last couple years, I thought I had broken her of this spoiled nonsense, but apparently not. A couple of Sundays ago, after church (yes mom, I went to church!) Meg asked if we could go to the big mall (aka: Woodfield) and do some shopping. She said she wanted some alone time with me. *insert eye roll*

Being the fantastic mother I am (and not wanting to lay around all day) I agreed to go. We had a really pleasant afternoon of wandering the mall and looking at stuff. I let her lead the way and go wherever she wanted. Towards the end of the afternoon, I wanted to head into H&M to look around. While there, Meghan found a few really cute (and cheap) things that she wanted me to buy her. I told that I couldn't buy her anything, but that she had enough money on her to buy them herself. She informed me that she REALLY wanted a new Webkinz so how about she buy that, and I buy the clothes. A born salesperson already.... That got shot down quickly. I told her she had to make a tough decision but could only get the clothes or the Webkinz.

She called Caden from the dressing room to see if there was a Lil'Kinz in the animal she wanted. (For those that don't know, a lil'kinz is a downsized webkinz and only $10 instead of $15). It didn't. Big decision still looming. We decided to walk around the store for a bit while she thought about it. While looking around, she peeks in her purse and says, "Mommy, I found another $10!" "Great!" I say. "Now you can get all the clothes you wanted and a Webkinz."

So we head to the register to pay. The total would have been $21 minus tax. But then the tax hit and she had to use a fiver to pay. She was pissed. Telling me she didn't understand why she had to pay tax (that makes two of us) and it wasn't fair. Now she wouldn't be able to get the webkinz. So I tell her, if you are a dollar or two short, I will make up the difference. Nice mommy, right?

We leave the store hand in hand, everyone happy. As we are heading towards Hallmark to buy the webkinz, I reach into my coat pocket where my phone was and notice something. The $10 bill I had in my pocket is missing. Hmmm...... interesting how my daughter happened to find ten bucks at such a fortuitous time! Oh, man was I mad. I stalked right out of that mall and to the car with Meghan following me the whole time whining about her Webkinz.

Once we get in the car, it finally dawns on her that we were NOT getting the Webkinz. I guess it takes the 7 year old brain awhile to compute this stuff. Then the screaming and waterworks start. Oh man, I could have killed her! But the best is yet to come. . . She asks to call her father to narc on me and how bad of a mother I am. Sure, sweetie...have at it. I hand her my phone and she calls him. The whining does nothing so she hangs up on him. So, I'm not taking her bait. I'm not yelling or screaming, not getting upset, nothing. So she goes for the jugular at the first opening.

I tell her, "I can't just buy you everything you want."
Meg - "I don't know why not. Everyone else gets whatever they want!"
Me - "That's not true."
Meg - "I don't know why we have to be poor JUST BECAUSE YOU WON'T GO GET A JOB!"

Now I don't generally let my kids hurt my feelings. They can say they hate me and I'm mean, blah blah blah and it doesn't bother me at all, but that one comment really got to me. I mean, what the fuck am I doing this for??? Why did I give up my career and my life, just to raise a bunch of little fucking brats???? How much this hurt my feelings really surprised me. I struggled to not cry because that's what she wanted. To hurt me. It worked. I know that someday she will realize she was lucky even though now it feels like a burden. Someday she will understand how much a woman sacrifices to stay at home with her children. Someday she will appreciate she got a different type of everything, that had nothing to do with money.