Well I definitely know that school is back in session - full swing. I am actually working all week! Very exciting. Unfortunately for the class I will be handling for the next two days, I am no sort of Math teacher. Thankfully, no teacher assumes a sub actually knows what they are doing, so hopefully its just a bunch of review! I apologize to these as of yet nameless children now. I promise to do no harm. If I don't know, I will just say that and allow your teacher to help you on Thursday!
So today I got to work in a bilingual 1st grade classroom. Going in, I was a little nervous. I had never been in a 1st grade room except to help host a holiday party. In the end, they were so sweet and it was pretty much like a normal summer day around my house. Kids everywhere all trying to talk to me at once!
There was one little boy, however, at the end of the day who almost had me in tears. We were watching the episode of "The Magic School Bus" where Miss Frizzle turns them into water. The class is working on evaporation, condensation etc, etc so this fit in nicely and a quiet way to end the day.
I turned the show off to get everyone in coats, hats, gloves etc and he was crying so hard. He had to stay at the after school program and he just wanted to go home. He kept telling me that he just wanted in Mom. He held my hand when I walked all the rest of the kids to the buses or their waiting parents and all the way back into the school. He asked through tears and snot if I could just sit with him in the classroom. And he asked me over and over, "Why can't my mom just come get me?" and all I could do was hug him.
So is this what working mothers feel all the time? I wanted to cry too, because I have a 1st grader and it would break my heart to think of her crying like that to her teacher. It makes me wonder, what in the heck am I doing? Isn't there some other way for me to make money??? But when little Jesus was settled into the afterschool program, and feeling better, I thought that I am lucky. I have a degree that will allow me to work somewhere that I will always be home after school for them. I won't be working breaks and days off or over the summer. Who knows what his mother has to do to make ends meet. I AM glad that I was there to comfort him and hope that it helped. Even just a little.
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2 comments:
Oh my God, you just brought me to tears. I got to stay home with the first two, and regret so much that I ever had to work after that. At least the kids get to come home though, and not stuck in a daycare. When I worked at the Montessori school it made me so sad to see all of the career mom's drop off their kids at 5:45am, and pick them up at 5:45pm...so sad.
Yep- it sucks but we do what we have to do :) We always intended for me to stay home but every time the $$ built up and bills dwindled down enough to swing it- a car, medical expense or job layoff happened and we were back to square one. We have been lucky to have two socialable kids who adjusted well to daycare. I still hope to be able to stay home at some point but I gave up expecting it long ago. It was have a family knowing daycare was needed OR don't- we wanted a family- even though it would be a different arrangement than we had hoped for. We have our own little dynamic going on that works and though J & I are stressed all the time trying to make ends meet and keep the kids happy it is transparent to them- they are happy and active and that's what we want whatever means is necessary to accomplish that...OH how I ramble- it must be bedtime!! Great post!
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